In life, it is all about the relationships you build, whether they are professional, romantic, or friendships. Without these established relationships, it is virtually impossible to emotionally survive as human beings. We are creatures of habit, creatures who crave warmth and love, interaction; there is a reason why we have evolved into the great beings we are now. Understanding relationships can unlock many doors...
Without love and compassion, a person's heart remains cold and unfeeling. Hate only festers and eats the human soul. We build relationships to feel loved, to feel important, to make ourselves feel complete. As humans, we all crave a few basic things in life: health and the preservation of life, food, sleep, money and the things money will buy, life in the hereafter, sexual gratification, the well being of our family and offspring, and the feeling of importance. The latter is the key to building the type of relationship that will aid you in the long run.
There is a book I highly recommend by Dale Carnegie. It is called, "How to Win Friends and Influence People." I have read it several times, and will continue to read it many times in my lifetime. He describes the essence of relationships --- how to form relationships and friendships with people so that you have a level of influence in decisions pertaining to you. The message is clear: treating others with kindness and respect is a more powerful tool than you can imagine. Giving respect to others will bring you back respect 100 fold.
If you can figure out what is important to a person, what motivates them, you have a pretty good advantage. For instance, in a business meeting, you are meeting someone of high influence for the first time. If you have done your homework you might figure out this person is very family-oriented. Somewhere in your conversation, you might want to interject a question or comment about his family or a family member. For example, "Bob, did I hear Emily just got into Yale? You must be very proud of her." No doubt Bob will feel good and go on to discuss his daughter. It is about establishing a connection with the other party one way or another. You are creating a "feel good" moment, no matter how fleeting the moment lasts.
I have used these methods myself, and it has served me well. In my own personal relationships, I have found flattery and kindness is the best way to influence others. A wife might say to her husband, "John, you are just so great at keeping the lawn nicely manicured. I don't know what I would do without you." John hears this and beams with pride. He will obviously continue mowing the lawn just to continue hearing the praise from his wife.
If you can navigate through all this, you may just discover how powerful and influencial these techniques are. Remember the addage: Do unto others what they would do unto you. If you present hate that is what you will receive in return. Good relationships cannot survive if there is too much anger and hate. Instead of acting and being hateful, be forgiving and loving.
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