WAITING ON THE LORD...

The most difficult thing for most of us to do is to wait! We hate to have to stand still, be unmovable and be patient. Waiting on others is a most distressing experience, so many of us force ahead and end up with some rather negative results. If waiting on others is so frustrating, can you imagine what it feels like to wait on God?

The bible is filled with many stories of characters that received a promise from the Lord and had to wait 5, 10, 15 sometimes even 3o years before he fulfilled what he had declared about them. Yes, it can be difficult but it’s important to understand that his ways are not our ways and his thoughts are higher than our thoughts. Yes, God knows exactly what he is doing and he is capable of doing what he has promised all by himself.

I too have been waiting on God for the fulfilment a particular promise. A promise that will change my life for good! A promise that I feel I don’t deserve and one that, at first, I thought it would be impossible for me to accomplish. But while I am waiting I have learnt that it is in fact impossible for me to accomplish because when God gives you a promise for your life only he can bring it to pass.

He doesn’t need our help, nor does he need our opinion of when would be the best time for the promise to be fulfilled. Whenever, we attempt to help God fulfil a promise for our lives, it usually results in heart ache and disappointment. Sarah in the bible got a Ishmael because she could not wait on God and had to deal with the consequences of her decision to let her servant sleep with her husband in order for them to have a child. Bad idea Sarah!!

Regardless of how tight it gets never attempt to help God fulfil the promise he has given you for your life. Believe me I have learnt the hard way because I refused to be settled and rest in the knowledge that God in fact knows exactly what he is doing and my knowledge is limited and I am unable to comprehend, much less interpret the will of God. So while others are preplexed and confused, I will wait on God.  While others are looking on and silently celebrating the unfulfillment of God’s promise for my life. I will wait!

I will not wait and worry, I will not wait and push to find a solution for myself, I will not wait and be confused and stressed. I will wait patiently for the Lord as the psalmist declares in Psalm 27 verse  14 ” Wait for the Lord, be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord!” This is what I have resigned myself to do. I will wait on God because He is not a man to lie and His promises are yeah and Amen. Today if you are waiting on God for a husband, wife, a job, children, and better home, whatever it is, be patient and wait on God because he will never break his word!

While I wait I will read books and take my mind from what I am waiting on because I cannot force God to fulfil the promise before its time! I will relax, I refuse to be anxious and worried. God is not a man! Nothing is impossible for God and God always keeps his word! God always fulfils his promises; I will rest in his word and wait on his promise for my life because I know it will come to pass!!

Married Sex...

Five years into a marriage, the complaints from couple to couple are the same. While the scenarios may be different for each couple, the bottom line is that the excitement and passion in the relationship – once hot and insane, has slacked off into a sort of cool ambience that rarely, if ever – involves crazy and mad sex! Men begin to think that foreplay is winking at their wife as they leave the bathroom; while women see sexy as actually taking a shower and shaving their armpits. Okay, so maybe it’s not that cliché - but married sex is definitely…let’s just say different. To say the least. And even though it may be a tad disappointing, the truth is that very few people can keep up with the bar they set early on in a relationship (at least not without Viagra). Measuring the success of your relationship on the intensity of your sex life will only ensure that you are never completely satisfied.

Just like the new car smell wears off a year or so into owning the car of your dreams, so does the passion and newness of making love to someone brand new in your life. After all, how long can it last? The initial stages of a relationship are about mystery and excitement – but eventually you get to know your partner all too well. Remember when you would never eat in your new car? Now there are probably French fries and coffee stains all over the interior. Same goes for making love to the same person over and over again. It gets old. It gets a little boring, and just like keeping up with the spotless interior of your new car becomes strenuous and virtually impossible to keep up with. Luckily, there is much more to marriage then just sex. It may be the fuel that gets you together or keeps you interested and it can definitely be used as ammunition – but marriage is about more than sex. Thank goodness.

The complaints may be that married sex is no longer what it used to be. Many people get tired of the old habits and sexual idiosyncrasies or hang ups of their spouses. After ten years together, being with someone who still can’t stand to be naked in front of you seems a little silly. Sex can also be like most things in a marriage, routine. You know when, how, where and why you are going to have sex and it becomes nothing more than something to check off of your to-do list. When you are tired, stressed, overwhelmed, exhausted, or have your too many irons in the fire – sex can be left out altogether and it can be very difficult to breech the subject again without feeling sort of out of place. After all – having toddlers or babies, that need to be fed and drain the life and blood out of your body takes precedence and sex becomes more of an after thought. And, by the time you get to bed at night there is a good chance you want nothing more than to close your eyes and go to sleep rather than endure yet another ten-minute encounter that leaves neither of you feeling that pleased.

Even though married sex can become mundane – it is definitely worth engaging in. There is a certain ebb and flow with couples where sex flows in and out of their lives. When the sex tide comes in, you can quickly be reminded of how good it feels to be with your spouse in that manner. When it rolls out, it can take with it the security and sadly the foundation of the relationship. While thousands of the other parts of marriage are not just about you – sex is. Sex is about you and your spouse connecting in that certain way that makes the both of you feel good. Some days you may not be able to let go of the fact that your husband doesn’t pick up his dirty clothes. Some days your husband may be a bit of a complainer that the missionary position is no longer his first choice. Being winked at or shaving armpits as a signal that you are feeling your inner passion ignite may not be enough to bring back the carefree days of sexual encounters that you had when you are dating. The good news is that married sex is okay with all of that. In many relationships when the incredible sex and orgasms end, so does the communion. And while that may be okay for a while, in a marriage it is about more than just having sex.

If your sex life is a source of dissatisfaction, chances are you need to remind yourself how important it is in your relationship. No matter what has come between you since you said your vows – it should be left completely out of the bedroom. If you are mad at your spouse, then choose not to kiss them – but never allow your anger to divide your sex life. For many couples, having sex when they are less than pleased with their choice in marital partners can be just enough of a band aid to get them over the injury. Shallow? Absolutely not. Sex has been through the ages, one of those acts that surpasses logic and doesn’t have to make sense. Giving over your body to your partner for the sheer pleasure of having an orgasm can be a powerful way to keep your marriage alive.

The other bit of advice is to change your mind about sex. So what if your partner lasts five minutes. So what if your partner doesn’t want to be naked or doesn’t initiate it. Many things can change if you are willing to think outside of your comfort zone and introduce them into the marriage. This isn’t to say that your partner will suddenly agree to a swingers lifestyle, but if you are unhappy sexually – the blame has to be taken as your own. Teaching your partner about what feels good, about how often is enough and about making sex a priority in your marriage is you and your partner’s responsibility. If the lack of foreplay has you pretending you are asleep – then show your spouse what foreplay is about. The mind is creative and in your marriage you don’t have to live up to or within any set boundaries. As a married couple, you have the freedom to partake in any sexual activities together that pleasure you. So go for it.

The last bit of sexual know-how to turn married sex around is to stop seeing it as something that is contingent upon your marriage. Instead, decide that you are a sexual creature and that your needs and desires must be met. Use your spouse to do so and make it a priority in your life. If you don’t and you allow your marriage to suffer the mother of all disconnects, you will find it is very hard to repair. Change the way you think about married sex, and decide right now that it is a good thing. Finally, you can be as honest as you want to be in the bedroom and out

BUILDING LIFE TOGETHER

One fine day, an old couple around the age of 70, walks into a lawyer's office.
Apparently, they are there to file a divorce.
Lawyer was very puzzled, after having a chat with them, he got their story....
This couple had been quarreling all their 40 over yrs of marriage nothing ever seems to go right.
They hang on because of their children, afraid that it might affect their up-bringing. Now, all their children have already grown up, have their own family, there's nothing else the old couple have to worry about, all they wanted is to lead their own life free from all these years of unhappiness from their marriage, so both agree on a divorce....
Lawyer was having a hard time trying to get the papers done, because he felt that after 40 yrs of marriage at the age of 70, he couldn’t understand why the old couple would still want a divorce..
While they were signing the papers, the wife told the husband..
"I really love u, but i really cant carry on anymore, I'm sorry.."
"Its o.k., I understand.." said the husband. Looking at this, the lawyer suggested a dinner together, just 3 of them, wife thought, why not, since they are still gonna be friends..
At the dining table, there was a silence of awkwardness.
The first dish was roasted chicken, immediately, the old man took the drumstick for the old lady.."take this, its your favourite.."
Looking at this, the lawyer thought maybe there’s still a chance, but the wife was frowning when she answer.."
This is always the problem, you always think so highly of yourself, never thought about how I feel, don’t you know that i hate drumsticks?"
Little did she know that, over the years, the husband have been trying all ways to please her, little did she know that drumsticks was the husband's favourite. Little did he know that she never thought he understand her at all, little did he know that she hates drumsticks even though all he wants is the best for her.
That night, both of them couldn’t sleep, toss and turn, toss and turn...after hours, the old man couldnt take it anymore, he knows that he still loves her, and he cant carry on life without her, he wants her back, he wants to tell her, he is sorry, he wanted to tell her "i love you"...
He picks up the phone, starting dialing her number....ringing never stops..he never stop dialing....
On the other side, she was sad, she couldn’t understand how come after all these years, he still doesn’t understand her at all, she loves him a lot, but she just cant take it anymore....phone's ringing, she refuses to answer knowing that its him..."what’s the point of talking now that its over...i have ask for it and now I wanna keep it this way, if not i will lose face.."she thought...still ringing...she have decided to pull out the cord...
Little did she remember, he have heart problems...
The next day, she received news that he had passed away...she rushed down to his apartment, saw his body, lying on the couch still holding on to the phone...he had a heart attack when he was still trying to get through her phone line....
As sad as she could be...she will have to clear his belongings...when she was looking thru the drawers, she saw this insurance policy, dated from the day they got married, with the beneficiary being her... And together in those file, there was this note...
 
"To my dearest wife, by the time you're reading this, I'm sure I'm no longer around, I bought this policy for you, though the amount is only $100k, I hope it will be able to help me continue my promise that i have made when we got married, I might not be around anymore, I want this amount of money to continue taking care of you, just like the way I will if I could have live longer. I want you to know I will always be around, by your side... I love you"
Tears flowed like river......
"When you love someone, let them know... You never know what will happen the next minute.... Learn to build a life together.. Learn to love each other. For who they are.. not what they are..."

MARRIAGE AND RELATIONSHIPS

Almost every marriage starts out as a huge celebration. Together with their family and friends, each couple is full of hopes and dreams for their future life together. But the road to a happy marriage is far from easy. And as today’s divorce statistics demonstrate all too well, many couples opt not to complete the journey.

It would be easy to blame our high rate of marital failure on things like not spending enough quality time together, allowing bitterness and resentment to build in our hearts and failing to keep communication lines open. There’s no end to books, articles and seminars that tell you how to improve these and many other aspects of your relationship. But while quality time, forgiveness and communication are vitally important to creating a happy marriage, if such things aren’t happening, it’s usually a sign of a much deeper problem. And until this problem is addressed, no amount of external behavior modification will work.

To get a hint of what this deeper issue might be, let’s take a look at the following Scripture passage:

One of them, an expert in the law, tested him [Jesus] with this question: "Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?"
Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." (Matthew 22:35-40)

I believe that virtually every marital problem can be traced back to one or both partners failing to abide by these two laws. The same is true of any relationship. The minute we begin to focus on our own wants and needs over those of God or our partner; we’re destined for trouble.

Experiencing communication problems in your marriage? How often do you really focus on listening to what your partner (or God) has to say instead of insisting on more airtime? Feeling bitterness and resentment growing toward your partner? When was the last time you brought him or her before the Lord in prayer and truly thanked God for your relationship? Struggling to find quality time together? How about praying with your partner and asking God how he would like you to use your time?

As you begin to do these things, you’ll notice that your focus automatically starts to shift away from you and your desires and over to God and your partner. As a result, communication problems begin to improve, anger and resentment fade away and you naturally want to spend more time together. Of course, you can’t expect such changes to happen overnight. Your relationship is also bound to face financial pressures, childrearing issues and other problems that are beyond your control. But if you commit your relationship to God and make a conscious decision each day to put God and your partner first, your marriage will be able to weather any storm. Not only that; you’ll also have plenty of fun together along the way!

Have you struggled to find happiness in your marriage? Perhaps it’s time you and your spouse invited God to direct your relationship. If you would like to do so, I encourage you to pray the following:

"Dear God, thank you so much for bringing us together as a couple. We know that you have a plan and a purpose for our marriage, and we invite you to forgive the past self-centeredness, come into our lives and relationship and direct our steps from now on. Please give us the grace to put you and each other first every day. Make our relationship a blessing to others. But most of all; make it a blessing to you. Amen."

YOUR ATTITUDE COUNTS...

Your attitude will determine your outcome. If you don't have a positive attitude, you will never achieve your resolutions. Keep this in mind when you start toward any goal. Having the right attitude isn't something that just happens. It is the result of a conscious effort. As you get dressed in the morning, you would never walk into your closet and say to your clothes, "Okay, time to jump aboard" and expect to be dressed. You know that you have to put your clothes on. Having a positive attitude is a similar process; you have to consciously put one on. You have to decide that you are going to be positive in your thoughts about yourself, others and the world you live in.

Here are 7 simple but powerful strategies to help you become a more positive person.

1. Wake Up Happy. I meet so many people who start their day off with negative statements like "I don't want to go to work today." "I don't want to go to school." "I'm so tired." "I can't wake up until I have my morning coffee."
Train yourself to Wake Up Happy. You can sing in the shower or listen to music that is uplifting. You could have breakfast with someone you like who is positive and optimistic. You could have a morning prayer time or read a devotional.

By training yourself to wake up happy, you are setting the pace of your day. Don't leave your attitude to be determined by other people or situations beyond your control. Start your day with a positive note.

2. Take Control Of Your Physiology. What I mean by this is that you pay attention to how you use your body. Walk or stand up straight. Walk 15% to 25% faster. Take full, deep breaths. Use a wider range of tonality and facial expressions. Maintain good eye contact. Observe people who you believe are positive and energetic. Notice how they carry themselves. Positive people carry themselves differently than negative people do. Think of times in your life in which you were feeling your best. Reflect back on your posture, the gestures you make, and your tone of voice. Learn how to master your previous positive states and mirror the physiology of those you want to emulate.

3. Your Language Determines Your Destiny. Make sure that your thoughts and words are positive. The language you use, whether spoken or not must be positive. People don't know what you're thinking but this doesn't give you permission to be inconsistent. Line up your thoughts and words with the kind of person you want to be. The language you use can either build you up or psych you out. Any negative statement can be reframed in a more positive manner. Watch out for statements that predict negative outcomes.

Here are a few that will derail you every time: "I'm so nervous", "I'm so depressed", I have a bad temper". If you are going to put labels on yourself, at least use empowering ones. Try these on and notice the difference. "I'm in excellent health and have boundless energy!" "I never get sick!" "I have unshakeable peace of mind!" "I'm a Great Wife!" "I'm a Great Husband!"

4. Look For The Good In Everyone You Meet And In Every Situation You Find Yourself In. I know it is harder to see in some people and in some situations but everyone has their good points and so will every situation.

5. Expect The Best Of Yourself And Others. Keep your mind tuned into the things you want and off of the things you don't want. Your brain has a mechanism that is designed to notice things that are similar to your existing thoughts. Think of the last time you purchased a car. Do you remember prior to the purchase, you hadn't noticed that many cars like yours but the moment you drive it off the car lot you start to see them all over the place. This is how it is when you expect the best. Your brain will lead you to the expectations you desire. Make sure your thoughts are tuned into positive things.

6. Associate With Winners. A winner is someone who is positive, optimistic, lives life to the fullest, and inspires you to be your best self. Strive to limit your interactions with negative people. Negative people will drain you of your energy and sense of hope.

7. Seek Out The Power Of Role Models. Stop trying to reinvent the wheel. Seek out people in our community who are excelling in the areas you want to better yourself. This can be a great parent or spouse, a successful business person, a strong spiritual example, or student. The paths to success have already been paved. If you follow them, you are sure to succeed as well. An outstanding role model can save you years of trial and error.

You can alter the course of your life by altering your attitude. Nothing can stop a person with a positive mental attitude from achieving their goals. On the flipside, nothing can help a person with a negative attitude. Commit yourself to starting off your todays with a positive attitude.