How Can I Save My Marriage?

Saving a marriage begins with your attitude. After you DECIDE to work on it, you have to keep your attitude in the right space. After your decision has been made, give yourself time to learn how to be a couple again. You may have a few uncomfortable moments, but the journey can also be enjoyable. Below are a few thoughts and ideas:

1. If you don’t want to take on something that interests your spouse, and jump in with both feet, you can still ‘share’ your thoughts and let them know you noticed what is important to them.
2. For example, clip an article out of the paper on your husband’s favorite football team, or record a TV appearance by your wife’s favorite actor.  Better yet, read a newspaper article about something that interests your spouse and talk to them about it over dinner.  Ask them questions about what you read and what they know about the topic and watch their face light up.
3. Listen to your spouse talk about their favorite subject or hobby and, instead of shutting them down, try to hear ‘clues’ in what they say about what makes them interested in the subject.
4. Talk to them about what YOU find interesting in the subject.  For example, if your husband belongs to a book club and he always talks about the books he is reading, ask him about his favorite authors or what kinds of books he likes best – mystery, suspense, sci-fi.
5. If you can’t share the interest, at least show your spouse that you respect and honor it.  Register your gourmet cook spouse in a local session with a famous chef or find a website or a recipe you think will interest them.
6. A particularly effective and favorite way to develop a common interest is to look at what interests the both of you now.  Then try to find a common area or a ‘type’ of activity you both like.
7. An example might be if both of you like sports, but you don’t have a sport in common.
8. Perhaps you bowl and you work out at the gym, and your wife runs.  So, you are both in good physical condition and you both like to be active.  Maybe you’d like to take a sailing course together.
9. Eventually, you might even buy a boat if you both like the activity.   But, for right now, start small.
10. 10. If you both like music and there is one kind that you both like, buy tickets to a concert and go see the artist. Don’t wait, don’t talk about it. Just do  it.
11. 11. Or, plan a day in the city to go to a museum that has exhibits you may both like.  Your spouse will gladly walk through the exhibit he does not like, to get to the one he DOES like and you’ll get to time to talk to each other as you wander around.

If his/her interests don’t align with yours, try doing something NEW together that neither of you has tried or experienced before. If you are bored, that means YOU are boring! Take the next boring or peaceful moment and get out of the house. Go somewhere or try a new activity that you wouldn’t ordinarily even think about.

Along the way, you will rediscover the things you love about each other and the things you already have in common.  And together you might just develop some new interests!  Remember, action creates results (negative or positive) and inaction breeds nothing except the reminder of your discontent. If you want to change your situation, change your actions!

Saint Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day started in the time of the Roman Empire. In ancient Rome, February 14th was a holiday to honour Juno. Juno was the Queen of the Roman Gods and Goddesses. The Romans also knew her as the Goddess of women and marriage. The following day, February 15th, began the Feast of Lupercalia.

The lives of young boys and girls were strictly separate. However, one of the customs of the young people was name drawing. On the eve of the festival of Lupercalia the names of Roman girls were written on slips of paper and placed into jars. Each young man would draw a girl's name from the jar and would then be partners for the duration of the festival with the girl whom he chose. Sometimes the pairing of the children lasted an entire year, and often, they would fall in love and would later marry.

Under the rule of Emperor Claudius II Rome was involved in many bloody and unpopular campaigns. Claudius the Cruel was having a difficult time getting soldiers to join his military leagues. He believed that the reason was that roman men did not want to leave their loves or families. As a result, Claudius cancelled all marriages and engagements in Rome. The good Saint Valentine was a priest at Rome in the days of Claudius II. He and Saint Marius aided the Christian martyrs and secretly married couples, and for this kind deed Saint Valentine was apprehended and dragged before the Prefect of Rome, who condemned him to be beaten to death with clubs and to have his head cut off. He suffered martyrdom on the 14th day of February, about the year 270. At that time it was the custom in Rome, a very ancient custom, indeed, to celebrate in the month of February the Lupercalia, feasts in honour of a heathen god. On these occasions, amidst a variety of pagan ceremonies, the names of young women were placed in a box, from which they were drawn by the men as chance directed.

The pastors of the early Christian Church in Rome endeavoured to do away with the pagan element in these feasts by substituting the names of saints for those of maidens. And as the Lupercalia began about the middle of February, the pastors appear to have chosen Saint Valentine's Day for the celebration of this new feaSt. So it seems that the custom of young men choosing maidens for valentines, or saints as patrons for the coming year, arose in this way.

Relationships don't need promises, terms,or conditions.It just needs two wonderful people; one who can trust and one who can understand.

Love is What Holds A Relationship Together...

A relationship is a contract usually between two people connecting them emotionally and physically. Most relationships are started with the intentions of a couple spending the rest of their lives together but not all relationships work out. There are a variety of causes to the ending of a relationship including but not limited to: a cheating partner, a controlling partner, an abusive partner, a lack of communication from both partners, and partners becoming "burnt out" or tired of one another. 

In all of these causes to the ending of a relationship the key seems to be a deprivation of the binding glue of a relationship, love. Love is what holds a relationship together and when one or both individuals participating in said relationship lose the amount of love they once had for one another, or the love they once had for themselves, the partner/s resort to relationship ending tactics such as cheating, and abuse.


Most relationships tend to fail. Not because of absence of love. Love is always present. It's just that one was being loved too much and the other wasn't being love enough.