FEAR!

So what is fear? Well, first of all, let me share a very important secret with you. Fear is not the enemy; we are. Fear is actually our friend. Fear is a powerful force that is simply providing us with an opportunity to see something that we need to resolve within ourselves in order to experience more of our potential.

You've probably heard that fear is an acronym for False Evidence Appearing Real. In truth, fear is an illusion. It's something we create from within us. I mean, if I said to you, "I want you to go out and get me a 10-pound bag of fear," where would you go? When I ask audiences this, they often give me answers like my husband, my wife, my boss, Space Mountain, flying, or one of the many other experiences that people find fearful. Of course the reality is that we give events—experiences that happened in our past or could potentially happen in our future—a meaning that creates a biochemical reaction inside of our bodies that generates a feeling we call fear.

When we face our fears and overcome them, we realize that fear really is an illusion. We create fear through our thoughts and emotions about something that either happened in our past or something that might happen in our future. Unfortunately, when faced with the opportunity to face their fears, many people use the acronym, forget everything, and run. Each time people miss an opportunity to face one of their fears, they give fear even more power over them. They start to lose confidence, and the fear becomes more difficult to face. Each time they turn away from fear, they lose a little more of their sense of certainty about who they really are and the unlimited potential that lies within them. They create doubt in their own mind about their capabilities, and they start to feel inadequate.

This feeling of inadequacy affects all areas of their lives: their relationship with themselves, their self-respect, their relationships with friends and family. Relationships at work and their physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health are all negatively impacted. This in turn begins to create disease in their bodies and their lives.

The purpose of fear is not to make us feel inadequate, but to show us that we are powerful beyond measure. When we allow fear to control us, we feel suppressed, constricted. When that happens, we start to generate thoughts and emotions that cause us to experience feelings such as anger, jealousy, resentment, and depression. When people feel bad about themselves, they often take it out on the people closest to them, putting them down to make themselves feel better, or they suppress their feelings and become like a time bomb that can go off at any moment.

Halloween...

Did you know...

... that today is Halloween? As one of the world's oldest
holidays, Halloween is still celebrated today in several
countries around the globe. In Austria, families leave bread
and a lighted candle or lamp on the kitchen table before
heading to bed. In China they place food and water in front of
the pictures of deceased relatives. In Japan, they prepare
special foods and decorate with beautiful red lanterns that
are lit and set to float in the rivers. Happy Halloween!

Children With Autistic Traits Remain Undiagnosed

There has been a major increase in the incidence of autism over the last twenty years. While people have differing opinions as to why this is (environment, vaccines, mother's age, better diagnostic practice, more awareness etc.) there are still many children who have autistic traits that are never diagnosed clinically. Therefore, they do not receive the support they need through educational or health services.

In recent studies these undiagnosed children have been included in estimates of how many children have autism spectrum disorder, or an ASD (which includes both autism and Asperger's syndrome). Such studies have estimated that one in every hundred children has an ASD.

A study published in a recent issue of the Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry found that a large number of undiagnosed children displayed autistic traits: repetitive behaviors, impairments in social interaction, and difficulties with communication. These traits were at levels comparable to the traits displayed by children who held a clinical diagnosis (all diagnosed between years one and twelve). However, the undiagnosed children were not deemed eligible for extra support at school or by specialized health services.

The lead researcher of the study, Ginny Russell, asks, "ASD diagnosis currently holds the key to unlocking intervention from school systems and health programs. Perhaps these resources should be extended and available for children who show autistic impairments but remain undiagnosed" Russell points out that the study also shows that there is a gender bias in diagnosing children with Autistic Spectrum Disorders -- boys are more likely to receive a diagnosis than girls, even when they display equally severe symptoms.

Charles Atlas

Did you know...

... that today is the birthday of Charles Atlas (1893)? Born
Angelo Siciliano, Atlas was the developer of a bodybuilding
and exercise program. He trained himself to develop his body
from that of a "scrawny weakling," eventually becoming the
most popular muscleman of his day. He took the name "Charles
Atlas" after a friend told him he resembled the statue of
Atlas on top of a hotel in Coney Island and legally changed
his name in 1922.

The Birthday Of The Internet...

Did you know...

... that today is the birthday of the Internet? In 1969, a
Sigma-7 computer at UCLA was linked to an SDS 940 computer at
Stanford Research Institute in Menlo Park, California. Trivia
fans: UCLA computer science professor Leonard Kleinrock sent a
message from his school's host computer. He was trying to
write "login," but the system crashed after two letters, and
lo! The Internet was born with the first data message sent
between two networked computers. ;-)

Statue Of Liberty...

Did you know...

... that today is the birthday of the Ticker Tape Parade? In
1886, the first ticker tape parade celebrated the dedication
of the Statue of Liberty. The term ticker tape originally
referred to the use of the paper output of ticker tape
machines, which were used in brokerages to provide updated
stock market quotes. Nowadays, the paper products are largely
waste office paper that has been cut using conventional paper
shredders.

Lottery!

A lazy-minded lottery winner may believe he's wealthy… but he's not. In
a few short years, he will probably squander his winnings. Contrast
that with a bankrupt entrepreneur who exudes passion and determination.
Without money, he knows he's wealthy. Because in a few short years, he
probably will be.....

Your Communication Skills Determine What You Achieve in Life.

You see, every communication is an attempt to persuade someone else to do or avoid doing something, either now or in the future. You either ask outright or you imply your message in various ways. How effective you are at both the overt and covert ways of communication determines how successful you will be in any area of life.

The hardest part of communication is learning to use language in the first place. But you already did that as a child. When it comes to refining your already remarkable gift for communication — that's just icing on the cake.

Of course, it's the icing that makes the difference. Just as champion sprinters are only a few hundredths of a second faster than the rest of the pack, so the great communicators are men and women who've mastered just a few techniques unknown to the rest of us.

This is the secret highly successful people have always known. From boardroom tycoons to those "life of the party" people, getting what you want is always about using words to get other people to open up to you — to want to help you.

And that's a lot easier than it may sound. Because the fact is, people are programmed to help you. . . as soon as you talk to them in the right way.

The Liberty Trees...

Did you know...

... that today is the anniversary of the Liberty Trees? In
1999, the last of the 13 Liberty Trees, one for each of the 13
original U.S. colonies, was cut down after being severely
damaged by Hurricane Floyd. The 400-year-old tulip poplar on
the campus of St. John's College in Annapolis, Maryland,
served as a rallying point in the 1770s for colonial patriots
who desired freedom from British rule.

Some Form Of Philantropy....

Nearly all civilizations have practiced some form of philanthropy.  Many ancient civilizations levied a tithe or tax for the poor. The Egyptians and Greeks gave money to establish libraries and universities by encouraging members to tithe. Medieval churches supported hospitals and orphanages.

The word tithe is from the Old English word teogotha, which means "a tenth part." To tithe means to tax one-tenth of a person's income. In the Bible, to tithe was to support the religious order given in the Bible, which states, "when you receive from the Israelites the tithe I give you as your inheritance, you must present a tenth of that tithe as the Lord's offering. Your offering will be reckoned to you as grain from the threshing floor, or the wine press."

Many people believe that by tithing, they appease their god and secure their place in heaven. Inside of King's College Chapel in Cambridge, England, are these words of William Wordsworth, "Give all thou canst. High heaven rejects the love of nicely calculated less or more."

The underlying belief is that if we give our bountiful share of this life's abundance, then we will receive all we are due on earth and in heaven. Benjamin Franklin is remembered not only for his statesmanship, but also for his tithing. George Washington wrote as follows, to Franklin in 1789, "If to be venerated for benevolence, if to be admired for talents, if to be esteemed for patriotism, if to be beloved for philanthropy, can gratify the human mind, you must have the pleasing consolation to know that you have not lived in vain."

In his will, Franklin left $5,000 each in trust for 200 years to Boston and Philadelphia for philanthropic purposes, a sizeable amount of money at that time. Franklin also established America's first city hospital, the Pennsylvania Hospital for the Unfortunate.

Andrew Carnegie used a large share of his fortune to establish many cultural, educational, and scientific institutions. He believed that surplus wealth is a sacred trust which its possessor is bound to administer in his lifetime for the good of the community.

In 1901, Carnegie's fortune was estimated to be an outstanding $500 million, of which he donated $350 million to a variety of causes. His generosity established 2,500 public libraries throughout the world, provided construction for the famed Carnegie Hall in New York City, and created the Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh, and the Carnegie Institution of Washington to encourage research and biological and physical sciences. Carnegie said, "Individualism will continue, but the millionaire will be but a trustee of the poor. Entrusted for a season with a great part of the increased wealth of the community, but administering it for the community far better than it would have done for itself."

Tithing often brings prosperity and honor because it's an important aspect of the law of giving and receiving, which is an integral part of the law of cause and effect. As you give forth, so shall you receive.

A lot of people right now are seeking economic healing. Many of them are probably thinking, But I can barely make ends meet with the money I'm currently making. How can I give 10%, 5%, or even 1% to charity? Well, this is a case where conserving your resources in order to give a portion away actually has a paradoxical effect. Many people who are living paycheck to paycheck are so focused on their own financial situation that they rarely have time to think of the needs of others. But, remember, as we've already discussed, spiritual and material abundance can result only by focusing on the needs of others. By conserving your money and spending it more efficiently, perhaps through a budget, you will not only find money that you were previously wasting on trivialities, but your tithing will actually bring about economic healing.

Upon researching the activity of tithing, it is found that tithing establishes a consistent method of giving and for stewarding the bounty in one's life. This consistency can help the mind to build an awareness toward supply, abundance, and further giving.

In my lifetime of observing many hundreds of families, almost without exception, the family that tithes for more than 10 years becomes both prosperous and happy. This is the one investment suitable for all people.

Charles Fillmore, co-founder of Unity School of Christianity in the United States, made a powerful statement regarding our thoughts and money. He said, "Watch your thoughts when you're handling your money, because your money is attached through your mind to the one source of all substance and all money. When you think of your money, which is visible, as something directly attached to an invisible source that is giving or withholding, according to your thought, you have the key to all riches and the reason for all lack."

Are you willing or willful? Do you work well with other people's ideas and direction? Or do you demand to have your own way? When we exert our will in every situation, we may be forming a logjam that blocks the flow of good in our lives. When we allow others to express their ideas and to share in planning and direction, we open ourselves to different ideas and find new direction in the flow of life.

After trees are felled for processing into wood products, they are often floated down river to the mill. Occasionally logs will become stuck on rocks or some other obstruction. More logs become entangled, until virtually all of them are caught in a massive logjam. Dynamite is then used to untangle the mess, remove the block, and start the logs moving downstream again. Although the dynamite removes the block, it also blows what would have been usable lumber into an unusable scattering of mulch, resulting in a tremendous waste of raw materials.

When we are willful, when we are full of our own will, we may be blocking the flow of good in our lives, just as the logjam blocks the flow of logs. What happens when we become stuck in our own willfulness? Like the lumberjack who uses dynamite to break up the logjam, life will come along with someone or some event that can blow us out of our stuck place. The results are often painful and destructive. The more we resist the flow of life, the greater potential for an unpleasant occurrence. The more logs that are piled up in the jam, the more dynamite is necessary to get it unstuck.

Furthermore, when we are willful, we no longer invest ourselves in the service of others. Instead, as Stephen Covey likes to say, "We are making continual withdrawals from the emotional bank account of others. We are taking psychological energy away from others, which, if maintained long enough, can only breed resentment."

Science has made us aware of forces in nature that because they are greater than ourselves, we may never overcome. Some call these forces God or Mother Nature or Tao. Whatever they are called, our lives are more enjoyable and fulfilling when we learn to work harmoniously with them. Willingness means being willing to work with the mighty forces of nature and with the forces or laws of inner wealth. When we are at variance with someone, the argument we use enables the other person to see quite well that we wish to win out, which may be why he prepares to resist rather than to recognize the truth. A battle of human wills often unfolds.

By beginning this way, instead of making some kind of opening in his mind, we usually close the door of his heart. On the other hand, how quickly we may open the door to cooperation by gentleness, humility, and courtesy.

David and his brother Michael were complete opposites. Michael was a successful businessman, while David took seasonal jobs at dude ranches, parks, and resorts. Concerned for David's welfare, Michael tried to entice him with the good life. He would send David photos labeled, "My new sound system." "My new computer." Or "My..." whatever.

The campaign ended when Michael received a poster from his brother showing a breathtaking view of Wyoming's Grand Teton National Park in the United States. On the back of the poster was David's message, "My backyard."

Too often we tend to take the facts of our lives for granted. We may learn to work within the self-imposed limitations we've experienced in our development, or we may have developed the habit of floating from one logjam to another, allowing the forces of life to explode our world and reduce our potential for inner greatness.

We have the ability to work with the forces in our lives in various ways to experience greater expression of who we are and what we're capable of being. This requires a willingness to take a new look at our current attitudes. It requires the willingness to change our minds, to think again, to make new choices, to subordinate our willfulness in favor of willingness.

We can start anew from where we are right now. We can choose to work with and not against the spiritual forces of life and to experience the good that is present for us. Willpower, which is understood to be the strength of mind that makes it capable of meeting success or failure with equanimity, is not to be confused with willfulness, which is a demanding of one's personal wishes with no thought or consideration of other possibilities.

MANAGEMENT OF STRESS

Stress is the opposite of Relaxation. Both positive and negative aspect of life can be equally stressful.

We can look at stress as external forces in our lives that push our buttons and provoke extreme emotions.

Most people think of stress coming from the frustrations and low points in life forgetting that high points and achievements are stressful as well.

Typical examples include:

Marriage & Divorce, Ups & Downs, promotion & Termination, Birth & Death, etc.

Each of these has one thing in common – Stress

Uncertainty can cause stress; stress can result from something as minor as breaking a shoestring or something as major as your child ruining his new expensive shoes.

Stress raises your level of adrenaline, which results in an increase in heart rate, respiration and blood pressure. These increases make bodily organs work harder.

Stress Management Tips is all about helping you develop an effective stress management strategy. Explore the causes of stress and its symptoms. Find out how stress affects us and what you can do to reduce stress. Learn how some stress management tips, stress reliever games and stress relieving exercises can help improve your stress management skills and help you cope with stress.

Causes of Stress

Simply put, stress has one cause— our perceptions of and reactions to the situations that occur in our lives. Stress can be caused by something as simple as breaking a fingernail or by something as serious as losing a finger. In addition, the positive events in our lives can be as stressful as the negative ones.

For example, the birth of a child can be stressful both in positive and negative ways.

“It’s a boy! It’s a girl! It has all of its fingers and toes! It’s healthy! It’s wonderful!”

First of all, adrenaline flows and we beam with pride as our hearts fill with jubilation and overwhelming emotion! However, often anxiety follows.

“Will I be a good parent? Can I provide for my newborn? Will I wake up at 2:00 a.m. when he begins to cry?”

In the above example, the first reaction is called eustress, or positive stress. The second is the all too familiar distress, or negative stress. While coping with eustress is easier than dealing with distress, the truth is that whether positive or negative, stress is stress!

Moreover, what may be a stress reliever to one person may be a stressor to another. For instance, a divorce may be relief for one party and a calamity for the other or an employment lay-off may give one individual a much-needed vacation while spelling only financial disaster for another.

While anything that causes stress is called a stressor, generally the stress we worry about most is distress. This negative stress can be caused by either processive stressors or systemic stressors.

Processive stressors are those that elicit what is called the “fight or flight” reaction. When we believe we are in danger, the pituitary gland automatically sounds an alarm by releasing a burst of adrenocorticotropic hormone (ACTH), which in turn signals the adrenal glands to release the “stress hormones” adrenaline and cortisol. These hormones are actually a safeguard that help us focus on the situation at hand, speed up reaction times, and temporarily boost our physical strength and agility while we decide whether to retreat or stand firm.

Systemic stressors are our bodies’ automatic physiological responses to stress, such as the loss of equilibrium (dizziness) that you feel before you faint or the release of acid that turns and churns your stomach during a stressful situation. Systemic stressors may be released simultaneously along with processive stressors and can cause even more stress as they create a greater sensation of danger to your well-being.

Although everyone suffers from stress at one time or another, research indicates that children who live in a stressful home environment are at greater risk to become stressed by life’s challenges. In addition, some research suggests that both the events that we find stressful and our ability to manage the stress caused by those events may be partly genetic, governed by the genes that control our endorphin levels. (Endorphins are the hormones that regulate our moods and also act as a natural “pain killer”).

Though events may seem stressful, it is important to remember that stress is created by our reactions to situations, rather than the events themselves. In reality, stress is “all in our heads”. Putting life’s ups and downs into proper perspective is the key to coping with stress and the effects that it has on both our health and our lives.

Stress Symptoms

The symptoms of stress are our physical, emotional, and behavioural reactions to life’s situations.

• The pounding of our hearts as the home team scores the winning point
• The feeling of frustration when the other team scores the winning point
• The boisterous hooray when we win and the angry curse when we lose

Levels of stress are categorized as acute, episodic acute, and chronic. Stress symptoms are often indicative of our level of stress.

• Acute stress is the temporary type of stress we feel when we step back to the curb out of the path of an oncoming vehicle or when the home team wins (or loses).

This type of stress is the most manageable. Our heart rates jump, blood pressures raise, tension headaches may ensue, we become momentarily angry, elated, boisterous, or resentful. We cry in joy, in relief, in frustration. The moment passes and we go on about or business.

• Episodic acute stress occurs when life’s situations get the best of us, when Murphy’s Law seems to be the rule of the day. One example is when we believe we deserve a raise or promotion, but don’t act on our feelings. Another example is when life spins out of control with one disaster after another— an illness, a divorce, and loss of employment within a short time span.

Symptoms like recurring headaches, indigestion, fatigue, and insomnia are vivid warning signs of episodic acute stress. We can avoid episodic acute stress by recognizing its warning signs and coping with stressful situations as they occur. Without attention, this level of stress can lead to chronic stress.

• Chronic stress is that which literally wears us out, grinding us down until our bodies and minds react with serious long-term physical and/or mental disorders. Chronic stress occurs when situations become impossible to deal with, when there’s “no way out” and we give up trying to overcome adversity.

Unfortunately, once stress becomes chronic, long ignored symptoms become invisible. Grinding teeth, tremors, confusion, forgetfulness, over-eating, and alcoholism are just some of the symptoms that appear to be habits that are as unbreakable as the situations that caused them.

Stress warning signs can help us gauge our level of stress. However, stress symptoms often overlap from one level to another. More importantly, many signs of stress can be caused by physical illness or mental disorders. Recognizing stress symptoms can help us keep stress from snowballing from acute to chronic, prompt us to seek medical help when we need it, and keep us from suffering the debilitating effects of stress.

Effects of Stress

The effects of stress can dramatically impact our lives for better… or worse.

That extra rush of adrenalin, released during acute stress gives us a needed burst of speed when we flee from danger or an extra surge of power when we decide to stand and fight. However, when we fail to release stress by coping with life’s situations, it builds up until we either explode or collapse.

The consequences of stress can cause specific disorders in both mind and body. In addition to raising levels of the stress hormones, adrenaline and corticosterone (lately much talked about as cortisol), a build up of stress can cause headaches, digestive problems, eating disorders, insomnia, fatigue, and lower our resistance to other illnesses like colds and flu.

When we are deluged by a sequence of stressful situations, our bodies don’t have time to adjust and our minds don’t have to make the decisions necessary to deal with stress in a healthy manner. This is episodic stress. Over time, unrelieved stress, like episodic stress, can result in increased heart rate, respiration, and blood pressure, which in turn put undue stress on bodily organs such as the heart and lungs. Eventually our body gives up the fight; unable to flee from our problems we develop more significant problems like heart disease, high blood pressure, stroke, and other illnesses.

Emotionally, stress can near literally burn us out. Long-term stress becomes chronic stress. Stress becomes inconspicuous, hiding behind feelings of hopelessness, constant anxiety, depression, and in severe cases serious mental aberrations such as paranoia and delusions. Of course, the worst-case consequence of stress is suicide.

Just as each individual differs from the next in his or her responses, there is no set limit as to how much stress each of us can endure. Each of us seems to be endowed with our own stress “thermometer”. When the mercury rises or plummets, in order to stay healthy we need to have a planned strategy to manage stress. Knowing and using a few stress management tips can make all the difference in the consequences of stress.

Stress Management Tips

All stress isn’t bad. Stress can initiate change, help us focus on the task at hand, and in some cases even save our lives. Yet, when stress builds up, it can result in the opposites— and cause us to spin our wheels, keep us from concentrating, and cause bodily injury and even loss of life.

The first tip in managing stress is to recognize your stressors. The next step is to put each of them in their place. The following stress management tips, based on some old and some new adages, can help you do just that!

Take a Deep Breath and Count to Ten—

Taking a deep breath or two adds oxygen to your system, which almost instantly helps you relax. In addition, taking a moment to step back can help you maintain your composure, which in the long run, is what you need to work rationally through a stressful situation.

Start with “take a deep breath” and…

1. Count to ten (or more or less as the situation warrants!)
2. Stand up and stretch. Remember relaxation is the opposite of stress.
3. Stand up and smile. Try it! You’ll feel better!
4. Take a short walk. If you’re at work, take a bathroom break or get a glass of water. Do something that changes your focus. When you come back to the problem, chances are it won’t seem nearly as insurmountable.
5. In the book Gone With the Wind, Scarlett O’hara says, “I can't think about that right now. If I do, I'll go crazy. I'll think about that tomorrow.” Good advice!

Stop and Smell the Roses—

“Things happen” and sometimes “bad things happen to good people”. If we let them, stressful events can build up, wall us in, and eventually stop us from enjoying the good things in life.

1. Take the time. Too often we put the pleasantries of life on the back burner, telling ourselves we don’t “have time” or can’t “make time” for them. However, actually, time is the only thing we do completely own. While we can’t “make” a day that’s longer than 24 hours, each of us starts the day with exactly that amount of time. Take a part of your time to recognize the good things in your life.
2. Sleep on it. Every coin has two sides and every issue has both pros and cons. List them both then put the list away and take a second look tomorrow. Sometimes “sleeping on” a situation changes the minuses to pluses.
3. Every cloud has a silver lining. After all, rain makes things grow! Ben Franklin found good in a bolt of lightning. Find the good in your stressful situation by listing the negative surges and determining what it will take to make them into positive charges!

“A Man's Got to Know His Limitations—”

Knowing yourself and your limits may be the most important way to manage stress effectively.

1. Dare to say no. One more little thing may be the “straw that breaks the camel’s back”. It’s okay to say “No”, “I can’t”, or “Later”.
2. Acquit yourself. Sometimes events really are out of control and you really are “Not Guilty”. Quit blaming yourself.
3. Be pro-active in finding peace. Those who unsuccessfully use the crutches of drugs and/or alcohol to alleviate stress often find themselves in a twelve-step program like A.A. where one of the mainstays is the Serenity Prayer:

“God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change; The Courage to change the things I can; and the Wisdom to know the difference.”

4. When you need help, get help. Even Atlas couldn’t bear the weight of the world on his shoulders forever. Whether you need help from kids or spouse in hauling groceries into the house, help from a colleague to solve a work-related problem, or professional help to find the causes of and effectively manage your stress, getting the help you need is in itself a major stress management tip!

Other Tips

• Get a good night's rest.
• Eat healthily.
• Listen to your favorite music.
• Exercise, participate in a sport or engage in fun activity.
• Plan out your time and prioritize.
• Talk to a friend about your problems, don't hold it in.
• Get a massage.
• Take a nap.
• Take a warm bath.
• Read a book or watch TV.