Little Black Samba - Grover Washington Jr (1981)

Treasure what you have...

There was this guy who believed very much in true love and decided to take his time to wait for his right girl to appear. He believed that there would definitely be someone special out there for him, but none came.

Every year at Christmas, his ex-girlfriend would return from Vancouver to look him up. He was aware that she still held some hope of re-kindling the past romance with him. He did not wish to mislead her in any way. So he would always get one of his girl friends to pose as his steady whenever she came back. That went on for several years and each year, the guy would get a different girl to pose as his romantic interest. So whenever the ex-girlfriend came to visit him, she would be led into believing that it was all over between her and the guy. The girl took all those rather well, often trying to casually tease him about his different girlfriends, or so, as it seemed! In fact, the girl often wept in secret whenever she saw him with another girl, but she was too proud to admit it. Still, every Christmas, she returned, hoping to re-kindle some form of romance. But each time, she returned to Vancouver feeling disappointed.

Finally she decided that she could not play that game any longer. Therefore, she confronted him and professed that after all those years, he was still the only man that she had ever loved. Although the guy knew of her feelings for him, he was still taken back and have never expected her to react that way. He always thought that she would slowly forget about him over time and come to terms that it was all over between them. Although he was touched by her undying love for him and wanted so much to accept her again, he remembered why he rejected her in the first place-she was not the one he wanted. So he hardened his heart and turned her down cruelly. Since then, three years have passed and the girl never return anymore. They never even wrote to each other. The guy went on with his life..... still searching for the one but somehow deep inside him, he missed the girl.

On the Christmas of 1998, he went to his friend's party alone. "Hey, how come all alone this year? Where are all your girlfriends? What happened to that Vancouver babe who joins you every Christmas?", asked one of his friend. He felt warm and comforted by his friend's queries about her, still he just surged on.
 

Then, he came upon one of his many girlfriends whom he once requested to pose as his steady. He wanted so much to ignore her ..... not that he was impolite, but because at that moment, he just didn't feel comfortable with those girlfriends anymore. It was almost like he was being judged by them. The girl saw him and shouted across the floor for him. Unable to avoid her, he went up to acknowledge her.

"Hi......how are you? Enjoying the party?" the girl asked.

"Sure.....yeah!", he replied.
She was slightly tipsy..... must be from the whiskey on her hand. She continued,
"Why...? Don't you need someone to pose as your girlfriend this year?" Then he answered, "No, there is no need for that anymore......"
 

Before he can continue, he was interrupted, "Oh yes! Must have found a girlfriend! You haven't been searching for one for the past years, right?" The man looked up, as if he has struck gold, his face beamed and looked directly at the drunken girl. He replied, "Yes......you are right! I haven't been looking for anyone for the past years."
 

With that, the man darted across the floor and out the door, leaving the lady in much bewilderment. He finally realized that he has already found his dream girl, and she was.....the Vancouver girl all along! The drunken lady has said something that awoken him.

All along he has found his girl. That was why he did not bother to look further when he realized she was not coming back. It was not any specific girl he was seeking! It was perfection that he wanted, and yes.....perfection!!
 

Relationship is something both parties should work on. Realizing that he had let away someone so important in his life, he decided to call her immediately. His whole mind was flooded with fear. He was afraid that she might have found someone new or no longer had the same feelings anymore..... For once, he felt the fear of losing someone.

As it was Christmas eve, the line was quite hard to get through, especially an overseas call. He tried again and again, never giving up. Finally, he got through......precisely at 1200 midnight. He confessed his love for her and the girl was moved to tears. It seemed that she never got over him! Even after so long, she was still waiting for him, never giving up.

He was so excited to meet her and to begin his new chapter of their lives. He decided to fly to Vancouver to join her. It was the happiest time of their lives! But their happy time was short-lived. Two days before he was supposed to fly to Vancouver, he received a call from her father. She had a head-on car collision with a drunken driver. She passed away after 6 hours in a coma.
The guy was devastated, as it was a complete loss. Why did fate played such cruel games with him? He cursed the heaven for taking her away from him, denying even one last look at her! How cruel he cursed! How he damned the Gods...!! How he hated himself....for taking so long to realize his mistake!! That was in 1999.

The moral of this story is :
Treasure what you have...
Time is too slow for those who wait;
Too swift for those who fear;
Too long for those who grief;
Too short for those who rejoice;
But for those who love...
Time is Eternity.

For all you out there with someone special in your heart, cherish that person, cherish every moment that you spend together that special someone, for in life, anything can happen anytime. You may painfully regret, only to realise that it is too late.

WAITING ON THE LORD...

The most difficult thing for most of us to do is to wait! We hate to have to stand still, be unmovable and be patient. Waiting on others is a most distressing experience, so many of us force ahead and end up with some rather negative results. If waiting on others is so frustrating, can you imagine what it feels like to wait on God?

The bible is filled with many stories of characters that received a promise from the Lord and had to wait 5, 10, 15 sometimes even 3o years before he fulfilled what he had declared about them. Yes, it can be difficult but it’s important to understand that his ways are not our ways and his thoughts are higher than our thoughts. Yes, God knows exactly what he is doing and he is capable of doing what he has promised all by himself.

I too have been waiting on God for the fulfilment a particular promise. A promise that will change my life for good! A promise that I feel I don’t deserve and one that, at first, I thought it would be impossible for me to accomplish. But while I am waiting I have learnt that it is in fact impossible for me to accomplish because when God gives you a promise for your life only he can bring it to pass.

He doesn’t need our help, nor does he need our opinion of when would be the best time for the promise to be fulfilled. Whenever, we attempt to help God fulfil a promise for our lives, it usually results in heart ache and disappointment. Sarah in the bible got a Ishmael because she could not wait on God and had to deal with the consequences of her decision to let her servant sleep with her husband in order for them to have a child. Bad idea Sarah!!

Regardless of how tight it gets never attempt to help God fulfil the promise he has given you for your life. Believe me I have learnt the hard way because I refused to be settled and rest in the knowledge that God in fact knows exactly what he is doing and my knowledge is limited and I am unable to comprehend, much less interpret the will of God. So while others are preplexed and confused, I will wait on God.  While others are looking on and silently celebrating the unfulfillment of God’s promise for my life. I will wait!

I will not wait and worry, I will not wait and push to find a solution for myself, I will not wait and be confused and stressed. I will wait patiently for the Lord as the psalmist declares in Psalm 27 verse  14 ” Wait for the Lord, be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord!” This is what I have resigned myself to do. I will wait on God because He is not a man to lie and His promises are yeah and Amen. Today if you are waiting on God for a husband, wife, a job, children, and better home, whatever it is, be patient and wait on God because he will never break his word!

While I wait I will read books and take my mind from what I am waiting on because I cannot force God to fulfil the promise before its time! I will relax, I refuse to be anxious and worried. God is not a man! Nothing is impossible for God and God always keeps his word! God always fulfils his promises; I will rest in his word and wait on his promise for my life because I know it will come to pass!!

Married Sex...

Five years into a marriage, the complaints from couple to couple are the same. While the scenarios may be different for each couple, the bottom line is that the excitement and passion in the relationship – once hot and insane, has slacked off into a sort of cool ambience that rarely, if ever – involves crazy and mad sex! Men begin to think that foreplay is winking at their wife as they leave the bathroom; while women see sexy as actually taking a shower and shaving their armpits. Okay, so maybe it’s not that cliché - but married sex is definitely…let’s just say different. To say the least. And even though it may be a tad disappointing, the truth is that very few people can keep up with the bar they set early on in a relationship (at least not without Viagra). Measuring the success of your relationship on the intensity of your sex life will only ensure that you are never completely satisfied.

Just like the new car smell wears off a year or so into owning the car of your dreams, so does the passion and newness of making love to someone brand new in your life. After all, how long can it last? The initial stages of a relationship are about mystery and excitement – but eventually you get to know your partner all too well. Remember when you would never eat in your new car? Now there are probably French fries and coffee stains all over the interior. Same goes for making love to the same person over and over again. It gets old. It gets a little boring, and just like keeping up with the spotless interior of your new car becomes strenuous and virtually impossible to keep up with. Luckily, there is much more to marriage then just sex. It may be the fuel that gets you together or keeps you interested and it can definitely be used as ammunition – but marriage is about more than sex. Thank goodness.

The complaints may be that married sex is no longer what it used to be. Many people get tired of the old habits and sexual idiosyncrasies or hang ups of their spouses. After ten years together, being with someone who still can’t stand to be naked in front of you seems a little silly. Sex can also be like most things in a marriage, routine. You know when, how, where and why you are going to have sex and it becomes nothing more than something to check off of your to-do list. When you are tired, stressed, overwhelmed, exhausted, or have your too many irons in the fire – sex can be left out altogether and it can be very difficult to breech the subject again without feeling sort of out of place. After all – having toddlers or babies, that need to be fed and drain the life and blood out of your body takes precedence and sex becomes more of an after thought. And, by the time you get to bed at night there is a good chance you want nothing more than to close your eyes and go to sleep rather than endure yet another ten-minute encounter that leaves neither of you feeling that pleased.

Even though married sex can become mundane – it is definitely worth engaging in. There is a certain ebb and flow with couples where sex flows in and out of their lives. When the sex tide comes in, you can quickly be reminded of how good it feels to be with your spouse in that manner. When it rolls out, it can take with it the security and sadly the foundation of the relationship. While thousands of the other parts of marriage are not just about you – sex is. Sex is about you and your spouse connecting in that certain way that makes the both of you feel good. Some days you may not be able to let go of the fact that your husband doesn’t pick up his dirty clothes. Some days your husband may be a bit of a complainer that the missionary position is no longer his first choice. Being winked at or shaving armpits as a signal that you are feeling your inner passion ignite may not be enough to bring back the carefree days of sexual encounters that you had when you are dating. The good news is that married sex is okay with all of that. In many relationships when the incredible sex and orgasms end, so does the communion. And while that may be okay for a while, in a marriage it is about more than just having sex.

If your sex life is a source of dissatisfaction, chances are you need to remind yourself how important it is in your relationship. No matter what has come between you since you said your vows – it should be left completely out of the bedroom. If you are mad at your spouse, then choose not to kiss them – but never allow your anger to divide your sex life. For many couples, having sex when they are less than pleased with their choice in marital partners can be just enough of a band aid to get them over the injury. Shallow? Absolutely not. Sex has been through the ages, one of those acts that surpasses logic and doesn’t have to make sense. Giving over your body to your partner for the sheer pleasure of having an orgasm can be a powerful way to keep your marriage alive.

The other bit of advice is to change your mind about sex. So what if your partner lasts five minutes. So what if your partner doesn’t want to be naked or doesn’t initiate it. Many things can change if you are willing to think outside of your comfort zone and introduce them into the marriage. This isn’t to say that your partner will suddenly agree to a swingers lifestyle, but if you are unhappy sexually – the blame has to be taken as your own. Teaching your partner about what feels good, about how often is enough and about making sex a priority in your marriage is you and your partner’s responsibility. If the lack of foreplay has you pretending you are asleep – then show your spouse what foreplay is about. The mind is creative and in your marriage you don’t have to live up to or within any set boundaries. As a married couple, you have the freedom to partake in any sexual activities together that pleasure you. So go for it.

The last bit of sexual know-how to turn married sex around is to stop seeing it as something that is contingent upon your marriage. Instead, decide that you are a sexual creature and that your needs and desires must be met. Use your spouse to do so and make it a priority in your life. If you don’t and you allow your marriage to suffer the mother of all disconnects, you will find it is very hard to repair. Change the way you think about married sex, and decide right now that it is a good thing. Finally, you can be as honest as you want to be in the bedroom and out